Put Up Or Shut Up
by AtomicFire
Summary: Make a comment to provoke a reaction, get a different reaction than you expect... one that puts you on the spot. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Just a tangent my muse threw at me when I considered all the verbal barbs Shego tosses around. What if someone had the stones to call her on one? This is a complete lark. This is an AU after StD, and I don't own Kim Possible... I do own a DVD of _Kelly's Heroes_, great movie. Thanks to all who reviewed my one shot _Kim Possible: Knights Of The Old Gymnasium_!

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**Put Up Or Shut Up**

_"You're too beautiful to ignore. Too much woman."_ - James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: The Original Series, _'The Enemy Within'_

_Chapter 1: Words Are Worse Than Self-Destruct Buttons_

We join our tale in a lair somewhere on Mt. Middleton during a typical mission with our two heroes against the evil machinations of Dr. Drakken and the hotness that is Shego...

I.

"Ok Shego, time to put up or shut up... I'm free tomorrow night, I'd like to make you dinner and take you out dancing or to a movie." Ron offered to the now stunned woman. He had taken enough verbal jabs from this 'evil' woman over the years, time to turn the tables. All sound in the lair stopped, you could have heard that proverbial pin drop.

Kim was dumbstruck for a few moments upon hearing this, regaining her composure she stalked up to her friend and proceeded to tear him a new one.

"Ronald Tiberius Stoppable what in the devil do you think you are doing? This is Shego! This isn't some girl you met in the library. This is Shego! You know plasma blasts, try and kill you for years, SHEGO!" Kim was livid and ranting in Ron's face... _If I didn't know better I'd say he has major head trauma!_

Ron reached over and patted Kim's shoulder, then moved so he could face Shego and Kim at once.

"Kim, so not the drama, I just want to get to know Shego outside of work... I've always thought she's cute and she does have the most gorgeous green eyes around and of course that long, silky jet black hair..." Ron began strongly but soon drifted into a glazed eyed glance at the blushing Shego. He snapped himself out of it and explained as he moved his eyes fully to the stunned, and stunning, villainess. "Shego you are always making snide remarks about me and Kim together, problem is we aren't together, we tried and it didn't work, we're friends only. I've had lots of dates but the one woman I keep thinking about is you. So it's time Shego, instead of making the quips about me how about learning if any of it is true or not for real?"

II.

Shego could not have imagined this turn of events when she got out of bed that morning, she could not in her life remember being this stunned. She expected the usual. Drakken raves about the 'whack' new plan he has for taking over the world, Kimmie and the Sidekick show up, self destruct goes off and still time for a bubble bath before bed, or to make a shank in lockup before catching a nap... depending on how things ended up. As usual she'd throw a few verbal quips and barbs around, bringing some sunshine into her day... Princess and Stoppable always made such good targets for her verbal assaults... Stoppable moreso, but not today. _Mother always told me there'd be days like this._

Now she had Kim Possible's blonde headed sidekick offering to take her out on a date so he could get to know her, and he admitted he had a crush on her...

A small part of her mind began to call to her... _Ok, you haven't had a date in years, he always seems to be a nice guy, Princess does rave about his cooking, and he does have a cute butt. You'd be crazy to say no... besides it's not like you can't singe him if he tries anything stupid! Wait... his middle name is Tiberius! Odd name... He thinks I'm cute! _The inner teenager she rarely indulged became a giggling, blushing, random burble at that thought... and she could not stop herself from enjoying it.Agreeing with those thoughts she had to admit that his words touched her deeply. His comments on her eyes and hair made her blush, something she hadn't done in years.

III.

It took a minute for the meaning of Ron's little speech to sink in, when it did Kim became much more than tweaked, she became fury, "SHEGO has the most gorgeous green eyes around? You now have a date with my mother and an MRI machine! I can't comprehend how you'd think HER eyes are any better looking than mine!"

"SEE," Kim said as she pointed to her eyes, now locked on a cowering Ron, "My eyes are the most beautiful shade of GREEN! You even said it yourself Ronald! You said my eyes were a beautiful shade of green!"

Ron at that moment seemed to find strength within himself, he stood ramrod straight, toe to toe with Kim, looking down at her, his eyes locked on hers and a harsh snarl on his face, "I called Shego's eyes gorgeous, that in my mind is far more bon-diggety than beautiful. Back off and let me do this. It's my life, not yours!"

His voice and demeanor softened and he turned from the once again stunned Kim to the recovering Shego, "What do you say Shego? Home cooked meal, a movie or dancing... me and you in my Mercedes, I think we could have a good time together... and not in a naughty way either, I try not to think about you that way... oh crap, I DON'T think of you THAT way! Just saying your beautiful, stunning really... I'll be quiet now." Ron finished as he clamped his hands over his mouth suddenly realizing his feet weren't the cleanest things to be inserting in there. _I can live life without certain parts, it'll be a sad existence but I'll be alive!_

Slowly coming out of her fog Shego realized what was coming out of Ron's mouth, and what he was trying to shove in. Her mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to do. _Do I say yes? He is sooo cute when he gets flustered, never noticed that... notice that later! And the way he shut down the Princess? HOT! Big plus he said I was stunning and said it without threat of bodily harm! So yes? Decisions, decisions..._

IV.

"Yes, what time and where?" Shego finally spoke in a clear and even tone as she looked at Ron, struggling to keep her cheeks their normal colour.

"Wha!" Kim, who was already poleaxed from the tongue lashing Ron had just given her sank even deeper into brain overload... _She said yes... I must still be in bed, only answer, never woke up._

Ron just smiled... _Happy day, I get to keep my parts and I now have a date with a beautiful woman_... "How about 5 PM at my place?"

"Where would that be?" Shego asked with a smile.

"24 Sussex Drive in that new subdivision out past the University, you know about it?" Ron asked.

"You mean Stickley Hills? You live there! I saw the news special on that, very beautiful homes." Shego was shocked, as a connoisseur of fine things the subdivision had caught her attention, no mere cookie cutter subdivision with boring homes each home was a custom Arts & Crafts style design for the owner. _Ok, he has a few suprises up his sleeve I never knew about, just makes things more interesting._

"Yep, I just moved in last month." Ron confirmed with a warm smile for the villainess. _She seems impressed, good first step... the Ronman's got it going on!_

V.

"I hate to break up this touching scene, but... GET THEM SHEGO!" Came the crazed scream of Dr. Drakken from the control booth high on the wall of the lair.

Shego started to drop back into her combat stance, ready to beat on Kimmie when a loud rumble broke her concentration, all eyes turned towards the growing sound. It seemed to be coming from the mad doctor's latest superweapon.

Suddenly the giant laser designed to darken the sky and chill everyone out shook and clattered, falling into a heap of parts on the floor.

Drakken screamed and began pounding his fists against the control panel, "My perfect plan! It worked this morning when I tested it! Not fair.. never fair!"

The demented doctor soon broke into sobs as he curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Um, not that I'm complaining, but what happened? We didn't touch it." Kim spoke with a perplexed look spread across her face, the sitch with Ron and Shego momentarily forgotten.

"Yeah, what the Cheerleader said." Shego commented as she scratched her head in thought.

"Booyah, score one for the Rufus-Factor! Come on out buddy!" Ron yelled out.

A little pink blur scampered quickly from hiding, discarding a bolt from its bucktoothed maw as it ran towards it's master, leaping up into his lowered palm.

"The more they over think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain... right Rufus?" Ron said with a smile, quoting his favorite engineer.

"Uh-huh!" Spoke the naked mole rat as he scurried to his usual perch on Ron's shoulder.

Shego couldn't help but laugh at the pair. Then she remembered why they had come in the first place and frowned.

"So now that Dr.D is in tears what happens next? You drag me off to jail and we forget about the date?" Shego growled, she'd never admit it to anyone but the prospect of missing the date really bothered her. _Funny how I'm already looking forward it._

"Maybe." Ron stated teasingly.

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" Shego growled a bit harsher. _If he's pulling my leg I'll rip one of his off!_

"Well actually you and Drakken are both free to go... legal technicality." Ron said quickly as Kim's jaw bounced off the concrete floor like a superball.

VI.

"WHAT!" Shego yelled, fixing Ron with a 'you better explain that' look. _Maybe Kimmie was right about that trip to a MRI machine._

"You see there's a little story in that." Ron said as a beginning, a sheepish look on his face, ignoring Kim's frantic waves urging him to not say anything. "There isn't really a law against attempting to take over the world per se. Every time you were arrested before it was always for Grand Theft, or Attempted Kidnapping, or Kidnapping... well you get my drift... that's why when you escaped after just the standard 'take over the world' plots no one really hunted you. It actually made things easier for GJ because otherwise they would've had to just let you go. Loss of face and all that. So you see Shego while other countries still have you on their 'most wanted' lists here in America you're free and clear." Ron explained with a slightly sheepish look.

"You gotta be kidding! Princess tell me Ronald Tiberius here is kidding!" Shego nearly yelled.

"Unfortunately Ron is telling you the complete truth... something he wasn't supposed to reveal." Kim shot Ron a nasty glare, "As long as you don't break any laws trying it we can't hold you."

Suddenly Shego's eyes flared a nasty shade of dark green and her hands ignited, "You mean to say all those times I sat in a little cell... Hank Perkins better pray I never get ahold of him... criminal law degree my light green ass!"

Kim had to chuckle at this, hiding her laugh behind a gloved hand as those dangerous green eyes shifted to her. _What does she expect hiring a guy who does temp work for villains when he's not practicing law!_

VII.

Noticing that Shego had calmed down slightly, Ron asked a question of her with an quiet and mild, but serious voice. "Oh, before I forget, anything you're allergic to, or any foods you absolutely detest?"

Shego blinked repeatedly as her mind processed his words... _He really is a caring person, who else would think to ask something like that?_ She fixed him with a smoldering gaze as she spoke. "No allergies and I'm not a picky woman... well except when it comes to the men I go out with." Noticing his blush she continued. "You definitely seem like quality Ron, but we'll see tomorrow at 5."

The auburn-haired teen heroine rolled her eyes at the comment, then groaned as she realized Ron was in a near stupor with a set of glazed eyes and a fire engine red face.

Kim spoke in a very tweaked tone as she grabbed the still blushing blonde and drug him towards the exit. "Come on Ron, we saved the day now we get to go home."

"See you tomorrow evening Ronnie." Shego called out in a sweet tone, waving to the befreckled blonde. She knew very well she was entrancing Ron, and as a bonus enraging Kimmie.

It was all Ron could do to wave back, a smile plastered across his face so wide it seemed his head was cut in half. _I can't wait for tomorrow night, BOOYAH!_

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AN: And so ends the first chapter, the next will be a bit **_warm_**... I want to do a trial run of something for another story. I'm getting a bad habit of trying concepts out in short story ideas. The legal thing at the end is a little fabrication on my part, something I came up with to explain how Shego is always allowed to escape. Is Shego OOC? That's up to you, myself I tend to think Ron caught her completely off guard and she took his offer as genuine... remember she can still serve him up extra crispy if he does rub her the wrong way (and yes there is a hint there for the next chapter!). This story WILL live up to its rating!

And my fellow Canadians may have caught a slight joke with Ron's address.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Just a tangent my muse threw at me when I considered all the verbal barbs Shego tosses around. What if someone had the stones to call her on one? This is a complete lark. This is also an AU after 'StD', and I don't own Kim Possible... I do own _Waking Ned Devine_ on DVD, a great movie with a lot of good humor.

Thanks to my reviewers on Chapter 1: momike, Whisper from the Shadows, Rongo, CajunBear73, LOGEN, Thoughts13, peacekeeperchuck, EmbattledSeraph, Deyinel, mkusenagi2, pbow, Cre A. Tor00x, FAH3, Nightmare2046, Drelufon, JPElles, Jawelik, spectre666, ChildlikeGhost, Dutchman, aedan cameron and zardoz101 (plus anyone else I missed).

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**Put Up Or Shut Up**

_"The prejudices people feel about each other disappear when they get to know each other." _-James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: The Original Series, _'Elaan of Troyius'_

_Chapter 2: Appearances Can Be Downright Stimulating _

We rejoin our tale in a speeding sports car on a road just outside of Middleton. The driver? Well, it's the hotness that is Shego...

I.

It was an emerald green Acura NSX, made in the year 2005, one of the last ones. It looked bone stock on the outside save a set of matte black rims shod in Yokohama rubber, but under the rear deck the engine sat like a purring tiger. And the fact that this tiger could roar with the best of them pleased it's owner.

Shego barely heard the smooth engine behind her, the local limit of 55 only a suggestion as she came past the campus of Middleton University, heading for the entrance to an exclusive subdivision nearby.

It was amusing, prior to today she had thought about stopping by this area for two reasons... one was the fact she was a fan of the Arts and Crafts movement and wanted to see how nice the homes were, two was the fact that as an upscale subdivision it's residents would have many treasures they could be relieved of much to her profit. Shego didn't mind a little filthy lucre now and then and besides, break and enter kept her young at heart.

But tonight was different, for the first time in a long time she had a date... _a date! Dinner and dancing! _

Ron had called her to confirm earlier in the day and mentioned it was a home cooked meal and dancing in Upperton. _How he got my telephone number I'll never know... wait! Nerdlinger!_

As she made the turn into the exclusive community her mind continued to think on the man she was going to meet as her eyes scanned the house numbers.

_The guy that asked me out the other day was confident, calm and determined. Stoppable never displayed those traits before and it seemed to tweak Kimmie to no end, what is up with those two?_ Her thoughts were cut short as she saw the number 24 on a house to her right.

Shego re read the address she had written down... _24 Sussex Drive, Stickley Hills... _and looked at where that address had brought her. It appeared to be a Orient inspired California Craftsman home set just the right distance back from the curb. The mailbox was the proof though, proclaiming this to be the home of Ronald T. Stoppable and Rufus. _What is with that middle name?_

As she turned in the driveway her mind returned to the big question of the night... why did the Princess and the Buffoon break up?

She knew the rumors from reading the celebrity rags in her off time... that he didn't put out like she wanted him to - quality or quantity wise, that there had been some miserable fight, that Kimmie's Global Justice work had driven a wedge between them... to Shego's analytical mind they all sounded possible for that Possible, but they weren't the truth from the horses mouth.

It was just like her mother had always said... sometimes the tabloids had it right, but you had to have the rest of the picture to know what the truth really looked like.

II.

She couldn't let that viper walk off with her BFF... _and hopefully one day my BFBF again._

No matter what the odds she would save Ron from Shego.

"I'm Kim Possible, I can do anything!" She said to the empty room.

Immediately a voice in the back of her mind piped up in a mocking, sarcastic tone... _Well what he offered you certainly wasn't 'possible' now was it?_

Angrily shaking off the thought she grabbed her gear and headed for her window.

III.

Ron was standing in the back doorway waiting, his security systems having detected her car, as she stepped out onto the patterned paver driveway.

_Nice wheels... silk... green silk with black embroidery... look at that leg!_

It was an oriental style dress with a Mandarin collar. As Ron saw the details were all in black, including an intricately embroidered dragon, her ebony hair had it's usual shine and was accented by the cut jade stones woven within it. A slit ran up the side of the dress, dangerously high up... a leg encased in fine, black silk hose was exposed. In a word she looked stunning.

Shego looked up at her host for the evening in wonder. _He sure does clean up well._ Standing in the doorway was the man she til the day before only considered a buffoon wearing what she, upon a more detailed gaze, thought to be an expensive and stylish pair of dress pants with a Tyrian purple shirt all covered by a black apron. _Domestic, but well dressed... it works on him._

Clearing his throat Ron gathered enough functioning brain cells to speak, "You look beautiful Shego, as always. Come on in, the spinach and mushroom pinwheels are ready and the rib roast won't be far behind."

As she moved towards the door and came past her host the smells from within the kitchen caressed her, after stifling a moan she turned back to her blonde host and said with a smile, "If those smells are any indication you might have found a way to put me on the straight and narrow for good."

Ron could only grin as he followed her into his kitchen. _Booyah! This might be a night to remember!_

IV.

_After Shego sent those embarrassment ninjas to help off me that time payback is going to be so sweet!_

Kim Possible was sneaking through the back yard of her BFF's yard using every stealth trick she knew. Her super suit was set to 'infiltration mode' meaning it had phased from white to black in an instant allowing her to blend in with the shadows.

As she crept around a small tree near the bushes under Ron's dining room window she quickly turned as she felt the presence of someone behind her only to find... nothing.

Shaking it off as a jitter brought on by the sheer excitement of putting one over on Shego she continued along the side of the house.

_First I sneak inside, then I put the ipecac in the coffee, then I sit back and enjoy the show!_

Creeping low to avoid being seen through the dining room window she moved towards the back door.

Suddenly she felt something strike her in the middle of the back, knocking her to the ground, rolling to face her attacker she found Rufus chittering at her with a large stun gun, her scream was cut off as the electricity flowed through her and her now disabled super suit.

Kim's world faded to black as she saw the mole rat reach for a zip tie.

V.

"Did you hear that?" Shego asked Ron as he served the main course. He had insisted on doing it himself even after she had offered to help, all she could do after the wonderful appetizers, but he had declined saying that this was her night to enjoy. _Such manners, I'm so glad I have this chance! Kimmie you are missing out... maybe... depending on why you two did split._

"Hear what?"

"It sounded like a scream outside the window." In her mind she fought not to ask... _but I want to know!_

"I didn't hear anything, and Rufus is monitoring the security system tonight, he would tell us if something were up." _But only if he can't handle it himself._ Rufus had been given special marching orders for the night.

"Ok. You know that Naked Mole Rat of yours is something else." Shego said with frank admiration.

"Yeah, Rufus is one of a kind."

With that Shego smiled and returned her attention to the magnificent offering before her, and of course watching her host._ Look at how he chews and enjoys each bite... I wonder if he'll do the same with me? Licking me, tasting me... STOP IT!_

VI.

The promised rib roast had been so well done as to nearly fall apart at the touch of her fork, combined with the vegetables and sauces Ron had prepared she really did feel she was on the wrong side of the law. _It started off as a joke, but if I got food like this ever night I'd do whatever he wanted me to. _And with that realization her mind once again began to wonder why.

Shego felt glad the dress she wore had a slight stretch to it as she could not help asking for seconds of the roast, but then he went and did it...

"I hope you left some room because I have something very special for dessert." His eyes sparkled as he collected the plates and dishes like a pro and moved to the kitchen.

"What would that be Ron?"

His lips formed a mischievous grin, "Homemade hot fudge topping for over the fresh French vanilla ice cream sitting in my freezer, sound special enough?"

It had, she hadn't had a hot fudge sundae in years and wondered how Ron had come up with the idea.

Now spooning the last of the homemade hot fudge into her mouth Shego let go an involuntary moan of pleasure before bringing her eyes down from the wall to her date for the night... _I can't take this anymore, any man who can make hot fudge like this should not be single! _"I'm sorry Ron, this is all wonderful but I have to ask... frankly, it's driving me nuts! Why aren't you and Kimmie still together? She has to be nuts to give this up!"

VII.

"I was wondering how long you would last, it's an interesting story..." Ron hesitated, "... there are two reasons why KP and I didn't go the distance."

"Oh? Let's hear them then, I got up the courage to ask and I gotta know why any girl would let you go."

"The first reason..." A pause, a sigh, a mouthful of coffee, "You know that Global Justice has many tests that they give to prospective agents," seeing his guest nod before taking another sip of her wine he continued, "well Kim and I both passed with flying colours, but it seems my tests revealed two 'advantages' that made me worth much more to GJ than Kim."

"Ooooh, that had to sting... so what were these two 'advantages'?" Shego asked with genuine curiosity. _I wonder if they have pictures of Kimmie's face when she was told all this? _She mused with well concealed glee.

"As you already have experienced I tend to think 'outside the box' a lot more than Kim does... remember what happened when I was Zorpox? The plasma cannon and everything else..."

Shego cut in... "Yeah! I was wondering where all that had come from, I mean I've seen your high school transcripts, not much to cheer about really."

"Well I am quite smart, but I bore easy... very easy unless its something interesting. Algebra and Economics, hardly interesting. Creating a superweapon of unimaginable destructive power? Now that is interesting!"

"Ok, so you think outside the box... that's one. What's the second one?" In her mind the teenybopper Shego never got to be was squealing... _I wonder if he thinks outside the box in bed too?_

"The tests revealed a 'certain moral flexibility' in my character... you calling Kim a girl scout that time wasn't far off. Like I said a superweapon of unimaginable destructive power was interesting to me, but the moral constraints of modern society just meant I was a bored, underachieving slacker."

She regarded him with narrowed eyes. "I still have a hard time seeing you thinking anything less than pure thoughts."

"Didn't Senior Senior Senior ever tell you about the day he got into villainy? What about your old pal Zorpox?" Ron asked with a slightly twisted grin.

The proverbial light bulb went on over Shego's head as she remembered that particular conversation with Senior Senior. "Oh! A 'certain moral flexibility' indeed. I can imagine Princess just loved all of this." _I thought there was more to Zorpox than that double damned Attitudinator! It was partially him! Come to me my Bad Boy, I have something much better than a Naco for you to munch on. _She began to slide her body around, twisting to show her curves as her mouth formed a perfect, sexy pout.

"Yeah the tests tweaked her bad, but what happened after Betty saw the test results made things worse." Ron chuckled. _Man, can she look any more smokin'?_

VIII.

Kim slowly awoke with a massive headache... which only got worse when she remembered why she was now lying on the leaf covered ground with her legs and arms bound. She wiggled her body to find if she had anything left on her person that could help her escape only to find her captor had been very thorough in removing all her usual gadgets.

Looking around she found her rodent jailer sitting beside her head with a big smile on his face, buck teeth glowing.

_Good thing I prepared for this eventuality._ Kim knew the one difficulty she may face was Rufus, the little guy hadn't taken kindly to her breaking up with Ron.

"Oh Roofy... Theres some Smoked Gouda in my one pocket that can be yours if you let me go... won't you let your old friend Kim go Roofy?" She spoke in her most childlike and endearing voice, hoping it would add to the effect.

Rufus sniffed the air, Gouda was good, but Smoked Gouda was, well... better. He took off running down her body, enjoying the discomfort he caused as he ran over certain... sensitive... areas.

Kim was surprised as Rufus skittered away, she had thought he would put up a bigger struggle before giving in to the cheese.

Much to her horror he returned swallowing the last of the cheese and grasping two items in his claws, one was very familiar to Kim.

"Time to let me go, right Rufus?" She said, a slight tremble in her voice.

"Uh-nuh Kim Kim," Squeaked Rufus before placing a miniature gas mask over his face and opening the knockout lip gloss container right at her nose.

As she faded into darkness Kim got out one final protest, "Oooh you dirty little..."

IX.

"How could things get worse after that? Ol' One Eye offer you a job?" Spoke the completely stunned stunning woman.

"Yes, Betty did offer me a job, but you haven't asked my rank yet..." Ron trailed off with a mischievous smirk on his face.

Sensing something good coming Shego relaxed into her chair and took a sip from her wine glass, "Ok, I'll bite... what's your rank?"

"Major." Came the deadpan response.

Her jaw bounced off the white linen tablecloth. "You have gotta be shittin' me! You... the guy that plays the bumbling sidekick all the time... are a Major with Global Justice?!" Shego exclaimed.

Ron said nothing but pulled his wallet from his pants pocket, opened it to his ID and threw it on the table next to her dinner plate.

Now Shego had seen quite a few ID's in her time... heck, she had even made some of her own... and from this she knew when she had the real McCoy in front of her.

_Ok, so he wasn't shittin' me, he is a dyed in the wool Major with Global Justice. _As her mind drifted to thoughts of his physique a voice butted in on her earlier train of thought... _I bet he looks hot in one of those GJ dress uniforms... maybe he can model it for us later?_ Shaking that thought off as deeply disturbing for a career criminal she brought her eyes back up to the warm cocoa depths of her host for the night. Shego had a question, something that bugged her.

"So if you're a Major, what is Kim? A Colonel or something?"

"Nope, she's a Second Lieutenant." He smiled as he looked deeply into those jade orbs across from him.

The lady across from him was instantly puzzled by this news, "So why still act like the lackey, why aren't you ordering Princess around?"

"Most of the time Kim and I come to see you we are in 'Team Possible' mode." He spoke in an even tone.

Shego nodded with understanding. "When you are just with Kimmie she leads the charge and gives the orders, but..."

"... but on GJ missions I command a regiment of 1500 troopers... because of the Lotus Blade they are calling it the 'Regiment of the Sword', pretty badical actually." He added as a happy afterthought after cutting her off.

_Hmm, my man in uniform owns a magical sword... I wonder if he'll demonstrate his swordsmanship later tonight... I wonder if I can still swallow like I used to. _Feeling a tingle run up her spine she knew that Stoppable was about to dance closer to a woman than he ever had in his life. _I might just crawl in that suit with him._

X.

Shego was in complete shock for the second time in a 48 hour period, an odd thing for the celebrity villainess.

_Okay, so he's GJ's golden boy and he helped me get away so we could get to know one another... no wonder Kimmie looks so flustered lately!_

"So do you want to head out to Upperton? There's a live band at the Astoria Ballroom tonight... I thought we could have some fun."

"Do you know how to Tango Ronniekins?" _Please say yes, please say yes!_

"Indeedy I can! I took some courses this summer for something to do, I don't do summer classes and GJ is a 9 to 5 bunch when it comes to training so I thought, hey why not." At the time he thought he would never use the lessons, and he had been thinking a bit about 007 when he signed up. _Every badical secret agent gotta know how to dance with the classy ladies._

Ron shed his apron and donned his suit coat as he moved around the table to offer his hand to Shego.

"Where is this Mercedes you promised me a good time in?" The voluptuous villainess asked with a smile as she took the offered hand and gracefully rose from her chair.

"O-o-out in the garage." Ron stuttered a bit as Shego pulled herself up and then moved ever so close to his body.

"Why don't you lead me there Ronnie." _He's just so darned cute when he's flustered!_

Ron's body was able to accomplish this without his higher brain functions, which was fortunate as they were all very busy at this point. _I had hoped she'd show interest... but affection is even better! _Turning off the lights in the kitchen as they moved through and they were soon in the garage.

Shego was impressed by the clean and well appointed space and was surprised as she saw just three vehicles... what looked like a Honda CBR1100XX, a diesel Jeep Grand Cherokee and their transport for the evening... a black as night Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG. _Maybe being a good guy **does **pay as well as being a bad girl._

"So you've told me the first reason you and Kimmie are no longer a couple and it makes sense, but what about the second reason?" Shego asked, turning to look him square in the eye.

Ron fidgeted as he reached for her door to let her in, sighed and spoke in a determined yet hushed tone, "The second reason was the big one. Shego it was a decision she made about the intimate part of the relationship I had with her. We weren't compatible as she so nicely put it... there's only one way to find out the second reason. It's by getting to know me and letting me show you and deciding for yourself if you can handle it."

Shego congratulated herself. _So it is something sexual, and he said 'if you can handle it'... it was something the Princess couldn't handle?! What couldn't she handle in the sack? _Her mind turned over ideas, rejecting them until she came across one that made her cheeks burn... _Oh. My. God._

XI.

Shego knew she was a damned good driver, lessons from Mario Andretti back when she was the 'good little heroine' had seen to that, but it was clear that Ron was in a class all his own. She had seen his Drivers Ed records... breaking into the school had been a cakewalk... and was impressed by the improvement she was witness to.

_He's not going to mow down any unsuspecting gymnasiums now... but all this aggressive driving is getting me hot!_

They were currently flying... _yep, flying is the right word..._ down the James Doohan Memorial Expressway to Upperton and the ballroom of the Upperton Astoria in Ron's roadster. _The second reason can't be that... can it?_

Her thoughts were interrupted as she realized her date for the evening was humming a familiar tune. "Why on earth are you humming that?"

Catching himself Ron shrugged and smiled sheepishly, "Oh, sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing it. It's something of a tradition in the regiment to sing a song based on that tune as we go in."

"What are the words?" Minor pout on mint green skin.

Ron grimaced, "I'm not sure you want to know..."

Full pout, "Pweese Wonnie?"

"Ok, ok, put that damned thing away, it's banned by treaty I'll have you know! Just remember you asked for it."

He then began to sing...

_We'll be comin' around the mountain when we come_

_We'll be comin' around the mountain when we come_

_We'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off_

_We'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off_

_We'll be whackin' your fuckin' mind out when we come. _

Silence.

"Yeah, you were right. I probably didn't need to know 1500 heavily armed troopers sing that while they are on the way to a mission... especially one that might involve me." Shego winced as the words of the song fully sank in, then smiled as she envisioned the man beside her leading those 1500 troopers as they sang. _He's just so.. so... Rondom! I'm still getting hot and bothered!_

She reached over the console and placed her hand on his thigh eliciting the wanted, maybe even needed response.

"Booyah."

XII.

_Wait, hands and ankles bound... was I on a mission?_ Then through the chemical induced fog it came to her... _SNAP!_

Kim didn't know how long she had been laying against the hedge in Ron's yard. It was now dusk and she knew it got dark around eight. _He's left me here for two hours?! I am so going to show him all 16 styles of Kung Fu! And Rufus... that... that, well RAT! See if I ever take him to Bueno Nacho again!_

Suddenly she hears footsteps approach.

"Ronald Tiberius Stoppable you better untie me now or I swear..."

"You'll swear what Kimberly Anne Possible?" Came a voice Kim knew all too well... but it was much harsher than she had ever heard it.

"Mom?!"

Kim swiveled her head to find her mother standing over her bound form with hands on hips and a menacing glare on her face.

"So I'm working on some patient records in my home office and I get this e-mail, guess who it was from?"

Before Kim could form a thought her mother handed her the answer.

"Rufus! As soon as I saw the return e-mail address I was curious... then I read the subject line... 'come get your nosy daughter'..."

Kim could only groan. _This is going to be so worse than that Halloween._

XIII.

Shego felt like a Princess... _ooh, gotta think of a different way to express that, Princess has too many negative connotations. I feel like a... Queen! _

Ron had given her a wonderful night of dance, conversation, and a few drinks while they watched the moonlit skyline of Upperton. Now they stood on the back step of his home... _his beautiful, stylish home_... her hands in his as they gazed into each others eyes. _Desert sand brown eyes, deep as the Sahara... Bad Shego!_ The thought then flew through her mind... _maybe he'll like 'Bad Shego'..._ she shook the rather pleasurable thoughts off as one last thing bothered her... _He did know how to Tango... my legs are still weak after that one time he dipped me low. He was the perfect gentleman, I didn't even have to threaten to light up... I still don't know the second reason for sure, what does he have that Kimmie couldn't handle?! Is it really... _she looked down to his crotch... _THAT?_

Ron's mind was in just as much turmoil... probably more.

_Does she like me enough to come in? After what went on with Kim I don't know if I could take another woman looking at me like that... but then again this is Shego... gotta love an evil girl. Buck it up and get it done Stoppable!_

Looking deeply into those gorgeous emerald green eyes he found a confidence he didn't know he had and spoke with a clear, but challenging voice, "Would you like to come in for a drink?"

* * *

AN: Anybody wanna guess where "a certain moral flexibility" comes from? 

Poor Kim, beaten by a PNMR... and then drug home by her mother.

Don't own the lyrics to Ron's little ditty, comes from a certain movie where the 'moral flexibility' comes from. And yeah I know Martin would drive American, so shoot me... but don't hire Grocer, I support the lone gunman.

Stay tuned for the stunning (or is that stunned?) conclusion in... _Chapter 3: You Might Be The One Talkin', But You Ain't The One Ridin'_


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Just a tangent my muse threw at me when I considered all the verbal barbs Shego tosses around. What if someone had the stones to call her on one? This is a complete lark. This is also an AU after StD, and I don't own Kim Possible... I do own a copy of _Victory Through Air Power_, a great pre/early WWII book by Alexander P. de Seversky, a great piece of history.

Thanks to all my reviewers on Chapter 2! I'd name you all but I don't want to jack up my word count that much! Well... here we go with the final chapter.

* * *

**Put Up Or Shut Up**

_"Worlds may change, galaxies disintegrate, but a woman always remains a woman."_ - James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: The Original Series, _'The Conscience of the King'_

_Chapter 3: You Might Be The One Talkin', But You Ain't The One Ridin'_

We rejoin our tale at the door of a custom built home on the outskirts of Middleton. The stunning lady standing with the gentleman at the door? Well that's the hotness that is Shego...

I.

Looking deeply into those gorgeous emerald green eyes he found a confidence he didn't know he had and spoke with a clear, but challenging voice, "Would you like to come in for a drink?"

_Bold, handsome, never knew he was hiding all of this._ "Of course, a nightie would fit me fine... I mean nightcap would be nice." The slip was intentional, as was the leer she threw his way.

"Gr-great!" Ron said with a slight warble in his voice as he opened the door, motioning his company for the evening into his home.

The jade interwoven with her dress glowed as the accent lights in the home shone through them, accentuating her slink as she deposited her clutch on the kitchen island.

Feeling his confidence return as his guest became comfortable in his kitchen he spoke, "So, whats your poison Shego?"

She smiled, knowing just what to ask for, "Not really in the mood for a drink... do you have any of that homemade hot fudge left?"

Back to her he frowned, "Yeah, but we ate all the ice cream to have it with." _Darn, hate to tell her that, she looks like she really wants that hot fudge._

There was an impish smile on her face, "Who cares about ice cream when I can eat it off of you?" She quickly crossed the space between them and spun him around, placing her black painted lips firmly on his.

Ron had only just begun to process the thoughts about Shego using him as a human serving dish when the kiss began, within nanoseconds his body decided to go with the flow. Picoseconds after that his mind gave his body some further ideas and the kissee became the kisser much to the evident pleasure of the one who had become the kissee. Confidence had come to Ron Stoppable at a crucial moment this evening.

She of the raven hair was pleased by this development. _Now thats leadership!_ Her hands began to wander, unbuttoning his shirt.

The kiss broke only for a minute as she gave up some crucial information, delivered in a soft and sultry whisper, 'The zipper is on the left side". The result was an immediate attack on that weak point in the dress.

The dress gave way to silk and lace, the reverse of the dress, black with green accents, cups runneth over.

Her hands had opened his shirt and so followed to pants as he discovered the joys of a bra with a front closure.

She felt the bulge and followed it, and then followed it some more. Her voice then became playful, "Oh My! What do we have here?" _WOAH! I was right!_

His control was on a ragged edge, her hand felt good even through layers of fabric. "The second reason Shego, you remember you asked earlier, do you want to see if it's a good fit?"

She led him towards the living room and the stairs beyond, pushing his shirt off as they moved, "I always was one for a challenge..." , her voice became husky, "... come to me my bad boy."

II.

Kim had awoken in Hell.

It had to be Hell because that would be the only place she could think she would be discussing Ron's schlong with her mother.

She gratefully would have taken a chewing out for trespassing, her mother had other concerns though.

Anne Possible sighed as a dreamy look crossed her face, "Trust me Kimmie, you get used to it in a big hurry... then the fun begins."

"MOM... TMI!"

"Kim you're 21 now, the childish 'my parents never have sex' act is a bit much. I need a good roll in the hay as much as you do, although the fact you didn't jump Ron no matter how big he is makes me wonder about you..."

She stared at her mother until the proverbial light came on.

"You mean you think I'm..."

"No Kimmie, I don't think you play for the other team. You would have been with one of your cheerleading friends or that Shego character by now if you were." With that the elder red haired Possible put a smirk on her face and ignored her steaming daughter before continuing, "I just think you aren't living up to the family motto. I sure did and I'm only a Possible by marriage."

That comment gave Kim pause. _What in heck does she mean?_

Not able to think about her own father in those terms her mind flashed to the only possible person her mother could be referring to, and with that thought she became a red haired inferno.

Her voice became tight, almost to the point of exploding, "Mother... did you you sleep with Ron?"

There was a pause, the good Doctor of Neurosurgery Anne Edith Possible (nee Whey) then began to titter, then the titter became a laugh, her arms clutched her sides as a full on belly laugh started, her precious bodily fluids flowing from her eyes.

"MOTHER! Answer my question." Anger never likes being laughed at.

III.

Lace and silk gave way as smooth skin with a hint of mint was revealed, the large, skilled hands so used to manipulating the most delicate fruits and vegetables in the kitchen found a new purpose.

A belt snapped through the air, momentary thoughts of its uses filed for the other times they both knew would come.

Pants nearly torn free and silk boxers who never stood a chance came next followed by a gasp, a giggle and a lick.

He of the golden hair spoke as if from on high, "I've been looking at that hot body in a catsuit for too long, you need a lashing, and my tongue is ready."

Before she could even respond his lips had made her response impossible.

Stairs were no barrier to this wandering torrent of passion.

Shego's bottom had just the right curve to let it find purchase on a tread while the rest of the body was consumed by lips that treated it like the finest Naco.

_He IS licking me, tasting me... enjoying every bite! _

After this thought the raven haired beauty had only one that was more important. _He better not stop it any time soon!_

And so it continued into the master bedroom.

IV.

After many more moments of uncontrolled laughter the elder redhead decided she better calm down and calm her daughter down.

"You know they used to call me Ann-E-Whey because I'd get some any way I could in school..."

Kim forgot her anger altogether as those words sank in, registered in her mind and... nearly... caused her to upchuck a life's worth of lunches.

"... but Kimmie I'm MARRIED to your father, I'm not gonna go knock boots with Ron just because I want to make a point."

Kim's mind stopped grinding gears and flipped into first at that statement, it did make sense.

Her mother continued, "Besides, remember what I said earlier about 'you get used to it in a big hurry'?" Seeing curiosity on her offspring's face she continued, "Well lets just say that Ron and your father have more in common than large ears and a large sense of offbeat, near goofy, humor..." She trailed off as her mind tuned in on that other large area.

Kim's brain had learned a lot that day, it had taken in the comment 'Kim you're 21 now, the childish 'my parents never have sex' act is a bit much' from her mother and applied it to her thought processes, mentally she began analyzing her own father...

_Large ears... check._

_Large and goofy sense of humor... check._

_Large di.... HOLY CRAP!_

"Y... yu... ou... " The young woman was now back to grinding the mental gears, forgetting that they are a bitch to replace.

A sigh, a nod, "Yes Kimmie, your father is hung."

"Oh god, that means..." The teen heroine froze in shock, her mouth moving but making no sounds.

The next statement was delivered with the pity only a mother can give. "Yes again Kimmie, you missed out on some of the best sex you'll never have."

Kids miles away learned new naughty words nanoseconds later.

V.

At precisely the same time, across town amongst all the screams, spanks, moans and groans one female voice spoke. What did it say you ask?

"Did you hear a scream Ronniekins?" Flexible feminine fingers played with chest hair most fine.

'Ronniekins' knew very well what and who it was, but the time to break down into a full on belly laugh wasn't now, not with a woman like this in his arms.

"All I heard were the hopefully happy moans of this beautiful creature that shares my bed." The line was delivered with a smile and a caress, both returned with interest.

"Happy don't even begin to explain what I am! You are such a smooth devil Ron Stoppable... that really should be Unstoppable though, you should get it changed."

"Then my secret would be out, do you want that?" The twinkle in his eye and amusement in his voice was a counterpoint to the horror that appeared on the beautiful face of the woman known as Shego.

"Never!" The statement was made with great force and a squeeze to a very intimate member. "What you pack Ronniekins is the best, and the unwashed masses should never know!"

Regaining his composure from that most pleasurable touch he chuckled a response, "You are definitely not unwashed," he knew this for a fact as he had licked every square inch of her, "but the way you jumped me when we got to bed you might just be the masses!"

Sparkling green eyes narrowed, "Oh, that? That was only round one! Now that I know some of your weaknesses and what I'm handling you are sooo in for it."

A challenge offered, "Ditto to you." And answered.

With that the 'battle' began anew, lasting for hours through screams of passion and moans of contentment and other sounds best not thought of.

But as night became morning a clearly feminine voice could be heard shouting something in pleasure.

Who said it and what did it say you ask?

Well I'll tell you it was the hotness that is Shego and she said...

"I'm so glad you made me put up or shut up!"

* * *

AN: And so ends another story! Thanks for the reads and reviews.


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